Buttery cream yellow. Luxurious and silky. A soft, satin snuggle. Beautiful. Cozy. Comfortable. That was “blankie.”
Although I don’t actually remember ever saying, “Keep me safe, my blankie, for in you I take refuge,” I adored Blankie. In my mind, Blankie was beautiful.
At some point, Blankie rather mysteriously disappeared.
Truly, (and I share this for astute parents agonizing over things like binkies and blankies) I have absolutely zero recollection of this major life event. My supposition is that the “loss” of Blankie took place sometime before beginning kindergarten.
Interestingly, as time would have it, Blankie mysteriously re-appeared on my birthday. A thirty-something birthday!
I wondered, “What in the world is this blob at the bottom of the package?”
I gently lifted it out of the gift bag and placed the rather gross blob on the table. Bewildered, I remember looking at my mom for some sort of explanation. What the heck?
When she said this was my old Blankie, I was in utter disbelief. Definitely, this was a bad joke or a bad dream or a bad something?
There had to be some other explanation. Blankie was beautiful. This was a rag.
Literally, a dirty, filthy, wadded up mess of a rag. Rather than yellow, the blob on the table was a dingy gray. Rather than luxurious and silky, this was… Well, perhaps imagine a bundle of used tissues? That’s somewhat close.
It’s strange to say, but seeing Blankie crumpled up in this sad state (even at thirty something) was sort of a punch ”in the gut!” I had zero recollection of this thing lying before me. This was refuge? Security? This could not be! As I’ve already mentioned, Blankie was beautiful.
Yet somehow I had been deceived. It was true. This indeed was Blankie. The reality of it was that for a time in my life, I had sought refuge in a rag. A rag.
Thankfully, loving parents had helped me move on.
In a similar way, little by little, God lovingly exposes places and things where I seek security other than Him.
The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick; who can understand it? [Jeremiah 17:9]
That’s my heart. Easily deceived. I don’t even realize that I’m seeking a false place of security, an idol. I don’t see “the rag.” Rather, I’ll see something alluring, desirable.
I’m not the only one.
This is as old as time. Remember Eve?
So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate… [Genesis 3:6]
Security in food, security in pretty things, security in worldly wisdom or worldly counsel? Sound familiar? Been there, done that? Yep, me too.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with food or pretty things or worldly wisdom. These are good. These are intended to be God’s good gifts to His children. But it strikes me that there is something dangerously wrong in desiring or seeking them first or finding security in them. Think rags!
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. [Matthew 6:33]
Jesus calls us to put first things first: the kingdom of God. God knows. He provides. He asks us to trust in Him. First.
Thankfully, He’s always ready and waiting to lead us in putting things right again.
Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting. [Psalm 139: 23-24]
Search me, O God, and know my heart! Where is my security? Who or what am I trusting before You?
Am I trusting self?
A man? A woman?
Is my go to food? Drink? Another substance?
Is my security in friends? # of likes?
Perhaps it’s country? A political party? My personal rights?
Being in control? Being good? Being good enough? Pleasing people?
Perhaps my security is in knowledge? Even Bible knowledge can be a false sense of security and something we adore other than You, God.
Sometimes we find security in things familiar. Traditions. Old ways, old habits.
Oh Lord, see if there be any grievous way in me. Where ever I find security that is not first a gift from You is like my old blankie. A rag. Help me to surrender my rags and to seek You first. To rest in You alone.
Thank You for Your good gifts. Thank You for being my refuge, especially in times of trouble. Thank You for being safe. Thank You for Your promises, especially to never leave us nor forsake us. Lord, please lead us in Your Way everlasting. May I follow.